


But When She Walks In, I am Loved

by kyokosburnedhans



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Childhood Trauma, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Komaeda Nagito & Tsumiki Mikan Friendship, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27851522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyokosburnedhans/pseuds/kyokosburnedhans
Summary: Mikan always assumed no one really cared about her, not even her friends. She was just the "clumsy" girl that was always crying, it was normal for her. So when one night at party she broke down, she didn't expect anyone to follow her to the bathroom. Although when a certain musician knocked on the door Mikan was confused, but also relieved to know someone, at least someone, cared.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Harukawa Maki, Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter/Mitarai Ryota, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 47
Kudos: 87





	1. The Party - Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey! So umm this is my very first Danganronpa fic, I'm really sorry if its bad! Please let me know in the comments how I can improve and if you have any feedback I would really appreciate it!!! This story is bandaid (ibuki x mikan) centric with some background relationships! Also, Ibuki and Nagito are best friends in this fic! I lowkey have no clue how to work ao3 as well so I apologize if I do something wrong, I'll be updating the tags as I go along! The title is a reference to the song, Me and My Husband by Mitski btw :)
> 
> Some warnings for this chapter:  
> \- Panic attacks  
> \- Past school trauma/bullying  
> \- Anxiety  
> \- Abuse
> 
> Let me know if I forgot any warnings! Please enjoy <3  
> Also!! Not all the relationships/characters that in the tags are currently in the story but they will be later on!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikan always assumed no one really cared about her, not even her friends. She was just the "clumsy" girl that was always crying, it was normal for her. So when one night at party she broke down, she didn't expect anyone to follow her to the bathroom. Although when a certain musician knocked on the door Mikan was confused, but also relieved to know someone, at least someone, cared.

Music. Light. Noise. People.

Everywhere.

Tears streaming down face, although that’s normal right? She’s always crying.

Since its normal, no one bothers to pay attention. Not even her friends.

Well,

Except for one.

It was a Friday night, Ibuki was hosting a party like she usually did on weekends. Although tonight's was bigger than usual. Somehow, a few other people that weren’t in their class found out and soon word spread and almost their entire year was packed into Ibuki’s small home. Mikan had been pushed multiple times, falling in the most revealing positions. She would slip and trip, constantly falling. Soon her chest was feeling heavy and she felt like she was suffocating. She tried looking for Nagito but when she couldn’t spot his cloud of hair she scrambled down the hall. She heard someone faintly call her name although figured she had just misheard them. She knew the layout of Ibuki’s dorm so she quickly found the bathroom and pulled the door open. 

Click.

The familiar sound of a bathroom door clicking. She’d heard the same thing almost every day through elementary, trying desperately to get away from those horrible kids. She curled up on the ground and brought her knees to her chest. 

Everytime she fell she could heard people laughing and it only brought back awful memories.

“C’mon freak hair! Smile for us!” One kid pulled on her now freshly cut hair. It a summer day, she was only in a tank top and shorts. It wasn’t a good day.

She rocked back and forth, gripping her head.

“Ugh fucking slut.” A girl looked at her and she slapped her hand across her face. Mikan didn’t know why, but didn’t question it.

Her hands and arms still had the scars from the cigarettes, most people didn’t notice though and if they did they didn’t care. No one really cared, she knew no one cared.

Well, she thought. 

Suddenly the handle rattled ever so softly but it was loud enough to make Mikan jump back and whisper “I-I’m so-ory.” 

“Mikan? Is that you in there?” Mikan couldn’t really tell who it was, with the loud noises from down the hall. Although since she was at the very back, she she knew it was one of her friends…just who?

“Mikan? Are you alright?” A knock on the door. Ibuki. Mikan had always felt safest with Ibuki although she was just so energetic. Mikan knew Ibuki was good at calming her down, despite her charismatic exterior. Mikan knew she could trust Ibuki.

Finally Mikan spoke, “I- um. Y-yes, s-s-sorry…f-for, for b-bothering yo-ou.” She spoke through choked sobs and as loud as she could, although it was still barely audible. But, of course, Ibuki and her musician's ears were able to hear Mikan loud and clear.

“Mikan, can you open the door, please? I won’t hurt you don’t worry.” The first thing Mikan picked up on was the way Ibuki referred to herself in the first person and not the third, ‘she must be serious…its okay Mikan, you can trust Ibuki. Remember when she cheered you up that one time in middle school?’ The purple haired girl thought to herself, trying to make some sense. After two minutes Mikan stood up on wobbly legs only to fall back to the ground, slipping on the bathroom tile. Ibuki must’ve heard the fall because her loud voice shouted from the otherside. In the back of her mind, Mikan thought Ibuki had gotten impatient and left…clearly not though.

“Mikan?! Are you alright? I’m going to go grab a ke-“

Click.

The door unlocked and there on the floor was Mikan, curled into a ball, cheeks red, eyes puffy and her hair was frizzing from the pulling. She was wearing a rather large, dark black hoodie that was covered in tear stains. 

Ibuki quickly dropped to the floor in front of Mikan, “Mikan? What happened? Whats going on? Are you alright? Should I do something? Can I give you a hug?” All of the questions made Ibuki’s head swim although she could only focus on the last word. 

Mikan trembled like a leaf in the wind, no ones ever asked before. She could really use a hug right now…and Ibuki always gave the best hugs. Ibuki was the only person Mikan really opened up about all her past trauma with. She had Nagito, Seiko and the other girls in her class, yes…but she was closest with Ibuki. Ibuki nodded her head quickly and practically lept into Ibuki’s arms. Ibuki wrapped her arms around her softly, it was tight enough to let Mikan know she was safe but also loose enough so Mikan didn’t feel constricted. 

“I-I-I’m s-s-s-o so-orry, I’m r-r--ruining y-y-y-our p-party I-I’m r-r-really so-orry” She shook her head and sobbed into Ibuki’s arms even more. 

“Mikan, don’t worry about it. I have parties almost every month, or at least twice a month. You aren’t ruining anything. I want to make sure you’re okay, do you want me to take you back to your dorm? I don’t mind I can leave Mahiru in charge.” Ibuki’s tone was much different than her usual one, it was more serious and calm. Mikan liked that. 

“N-n-no!! I-I would f-f-feel too ba-a-ad, I…I-I can do it b-by m-myself.” Mikan pulled away from the warm hug although the second she stood up her knees gave out again and she fell in the most awkward position. Her face turned beet red and she started to cry even more. I

buki sighed, and reached out, “Can I help you up?” She hovered over Mikan’s arm. When Mikan nodded her head Ibuki carefully helpful Mikan stand up and opened the door slowly. Mikan quickly shook her head and turned into Ibuki’s shoulder. The musician quickly took her hand off of the door to show Mikan she wasn’t going to open it. “Its alright Mikan, we can stay here but I think I should take you back to your dorm. It’ll be alright the door is right around the corner we’ll be quick.” Ibuki gave a soft smile, different than her normal energetic one. Her eyes looked sad, which made Mikan even more sad because she had never seen Ibuki like this. 

The purple haired girl nodded her head slowly and Ibuki put her hand back on the door and peaked out. Luckily, Mahiru was walking past the door. 

“Mahiru! Ibuki is going to take this lovely gal over to her dorm as its getting a tiny winy late. If anything happens I’m leaving ya in charge, so don’t blow up the place!!” Ibuki’s energetic personality was back in a blink of an eyes, honestly it stunned Mikan quite a bit. Mahiru nodded her head and gave Mikan a shy glance before walking off. Ibuki turned to look at Mikan and quickly rushed them out the door. They got a few stares although they were out quick enough before anyone said anything. 

Ibuki placed a hand on Mikan’s door, although not to her surprise it was locked. “Ah crap Mikie, you got any jinglies?” Ibuki said and Mikan reached into her hoodie pocket and found her keys. Her hands were shaking so she wasn’t quite able to get into the keyhole. 

“Here let Ibuki do it, she always wanted to be called the keymaster you know? But her band members didn’t think it fit her.” Ibuki made a pouty lip and took the key from Mikan, unlocking the door. The two girls stumbled inside. It was a fairy clean place, there were LED lights on the wall and Ibuki remembered Mikan mentioning that the different colured lighting helps calm her down. There were a few textbooks scattered on the desk, which looked like quite advanced medical textbooks and some bandages on the floor. She had a very big bean bag chair and lots of blankets, everywhere. Ibuki couldn’t help but smile as she was surrounded by such cozy atmosphere. 

“Oh my g-gosh! I’m so s-sorry. Let me c-clean up!” Ibuki noticed that the nurse’s speech was a bit better now that she was in her dorm. 

Ibuki sighed, “Mikan relax, I really don’t mind you should see my place it practically looks like Sharknado happened in there!” She chuckled a bit and Mikan couldn’t help but smile just a tiny bit. Ibuki noticed Mikan’s smile and smiled as well, glad she was making Mikan feel the tiniest bit better.

Soon Mikan was all changed for bed and sitting on her bed, curled up to some blankets, her lights were set to purple and it had created quite a nice atmosphere. 

Ibuki was also sitting on her bed, lately, instead of cones, Ibuki had been doing little space buns instead, to be honest Mikan found it quite cute and thought it suited her better. Mikan was still wearing her hoodie although she had put on some sweat pants. Ibuki was wearing her fishnet top and black tanktop along with the shorts and shredded tights. The two girls had chatted back and forth a bit, Mikan’s stutter wasn't as bad which reassured Ibuki. She glanced over to the clock that read 1:23 AM in red letters. To be honest that wasn’t even late for Ibuki but she didn’t want to keep Mikan up late. Ibuki rolled off the bed and stood up, which made Mikan frown.

“Welp Mikie, Ibuki doesn’t want to keep you up too late” The musician sighed, and clasped her hands together. Mikan frowned but nodded,

“O-okay…I-its not t-too late thought I-I don’t mind.” She felt bad for being so selfish, but she really did want Ibuki to stay with her in case she went into another panic attack.

Ibuki paused for a second, trying to understand what Mikan meant, until it finally clicked. “Oh do you want me to stay with you? Ibuki would looooove that if its make you feel happy!!” She grinned brighten and jumped back onto Mikan’s bed, ‘gosh this girl had a lot of energy….’ Mikan smiled a tiny bit which confused Ibuki as to why. Although Ibuki quickly stood up from the bed and Mikan looked confused.

“I’m just going to grab some pyjamas. Ibuki will be righttt back. Just hang tight!” Ibuki giggled and then skipped happily out of the room. Mikan tapped her knee, waiting for Ibuki to come back. As the clock moved up each minute she got more and more worried Ibuki was just pranking her and wasn’t going to return. Although her thoughts were quickly interrupted when the door opened, Mikan was rocking back and forth a bit when she walked in. Ibuki was wearing hot pink sweatpants and a blue tank top. She dove onto the bed beside Mikan, sitting up right. Despite being full of energy, Ibuki didn't want to keep the nurse up too late.

“Hey, do you wanna hit they hay, you look a wee bit tired.” Ibuki giggled a bit and scratched her haed. Mikan fiddled with her hands in front of her chest, “Ibuki can get her beauty rest on the couch if ya want!!” She giggled a bit and glanced over to the couch, doing fingerguns in that direction.

“U-um, n-no that’s alright!! The couch is p-pretty small anyway, y-your legs would be dangling and you might w-wake up with pain and soreness.” Mikan fidgeted with her hands again, her speaking became more clear as she talked about the medical side of things. 

Ibuki nodded her head, “Alrighty!! If you’re okay with it then!” She giggled again and tucked herself under the covers, “Bit of a warning Ibuki usually rolls around a lot and hogs the covers so if she starts turning a lot just tap me on the shoulder!” She was still smiling despite it being almost 2 am. Mikan simply nodded her head and quickly got out of bed to turn on her night light, which was of a bunny and some mushrooms and glowed pink. She also took of her hoodie, revealing a fairly large t-shirt underneath. She rubbed her eyes and walked back to the bed before realizing Ibuki had been watching her.

“O-oh I’m sorry!! I know its really b-babyish, b-but its helps me s-sleep…” Mikan sniffled and pulled the covers to her chin, Ibuki only giggled a bit. 

“I like it. Its really cute.” Ibuki glanced at the nightlight and then gave Mikan a quite boop on the nose before turning to face the wall. “Nighty night night!!” Mikan muttered a goodnight and turned so their backs were facing each other. Although not long after she turned back around to face Ibuki’s back. Right before she fell asleep Ibuki turned around as well, seemingly asleep. Soon their faces were inches apart and Mikan blushed, thank gosh it was dark and Ibuki was asleep cause she was as red as cherries. Mikan turned back around, trying to settle her nerves. She didn’t even know why she was so nervous, well she wasn’t quite nervous she was actually rather calm. It was something other than nervous, but Mikan couldn’t pin point what.


	2. Dark Hallways - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikan heads to the library to do some studying but afterward a series of events occur and not all of them are good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi soooo here is the second chapter!! This one is fairly long, its around 5,600 words hehe...Also this chapter has some komahina written into it cause I really wanted to write a little bit about them
> 
> Trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> \- panic attacks  
> \- gender dysphoria (and panic attacks induced by it)  
> \- implied s/lf h4rm  
> \- the f slur is mentioned once, I used a number to replace the 'a' but I just wanted to warn everyone that the slur is said once  
> \- slight homophobia  
> \- implication/mention of abuse  
> please let me know if I missed any warnings!!
> 
> i hope you all like this chapter please comment if you enjoy it!! <3
> 
> also I apologize for any spelling/gramatical errors, its not my strong suit so I'm really sorry if I mess up!

When Mikan woke up she was curled up in something warm, she didn’t register it at first because she felt so safe and cozy. She cuddled deeper into whatever the source of warmth was and continued to rest a bit more before making up fully. Although when something rapped tighter around her and pulled her close, Mikan’s eyes shot open.

“O-oh my gosh! I-I I-‘m so sorry!” Mikan quickly sat up in the bad and muttered but Ibuki was still half asleep and clearly didn’t register Mikan’s stress.

“W-wha? Huh?” Ibuki sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking at Mikan. She noticed her cheeks already had a few tears falling down them and Ibuki reached her hand out to brush them off her face although she hovered inches away from her cheek, trying to get some form of confirmation from Mikan. When the nurse nodded her head slightly Ibuki brushed Mikan’s tears away. 

“Don’t worry about it Mikan!! Ibuki liked cuddling!!” She said it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing. 

“Why don’t you say we get breakfast?” Ibuki leaped out of bed, her colourful locks were sticking out all over the place. 

Mikan nodded her head but didn’t move, pulling the covers close to her chin as Mikan curled her knees to her chest. 

“Mikan? What’s wrong?” Ibuki sat down on the bed, her face looked so worried. Mikan couldn’t even believe it was the same Ibuki sitting in front of her, this one looked so mature and calm.

Mikan sniffed and placed her forehead on her knees, “I-its just.. I-I feel so bad for r-ruining y-your p-party, p-please forgive me!!” She squeezed her knees tighter. 

Ibuki sighed, “Mikan. Don’t worry, please. You didn’t ruin my party at all, in fact it was nice to get to bed early and spend time with you.” She smiled sadly at Mikan. 

Mikan wiped her nose on her sleeve and stood up, giving Ibuki a weak smile. Ibuki clapped her hands and stood up from the bed. “Alrighty! Why don’t you get ready, I have to go back to my door quickly and grab something alright?” Ibuki shook her hand, Mikan assumed it must’ve been some kind of stim and she was bouncing up and down. 

“Oh y-yes, of course!!” Mikan understood immediately, standing up from the bed as well and waving at Ibuki. 

Mikan sighed as she closed the door, feeling a tiny bit energetic herself, Ibuki’s energy really was contagious. 

  


“Komaeda-kun!!” Mikan ran up to Nagito, who was sitting on a staircase at the far West side of the school, a place where a lot of people didn’t go. It was the perfect spot for Mikan and Komaeda to eat lunch and talk.

“Mikan? Whats up? Is everything okay?” Komaeda closed the book he was reading, his hair was tied back in a ponytail and his round, silver glasses were resting on his nose.

The purplette plopped down besides him, “Y-you won’t believe what happened. So I was I-Ibuki’s party and then I sort of had a panic attack a-.” Nagito’s face quikly distorted into panic.

“Oh my gosh, Mikan I am so sorry I wasn’t there. Me and Hinata and decided to go to the movies, and of course the good time I had with Hinata affected you negatively, I truly apologize for the despair I’ve cau-“

“Nagito.” Mikan placed a hand on his, “Relax, take a few deep breathes. Remember how I told you to you to slow your thinking and words while speaking? It’ll help you think more clearly. None of that was your fault, please don’t say it was. I’m glad you had a f-fun time with Hinata.” She smiled and gave his hand a small squeeze. Nagito reciprocated the squeeze and looked at Mikan.

“Sorry for interrupting you, please continue. What happened after?” Nagito put his hands back into his lap and picked at the skin around his nail beds. He noticed Mikan’s eyes glancing at his fingers and immediately stopped.

“Well, Ibuki r-really helped me and then she stayed the night. It was so nice to have someone by my side and not taking advantage of me. I-it was s-strange, but s-so comforting. I just don’t know why she would spend time with me, yet alone sleep beside me, a-and not want to take a-advantage.” Mikan’s stutter was slipping back into her speech. It always improved around Nagito, but he could tell that unwanted memories were seeping back into her thoughts.

“Tsumuki-chan, I’ve noticed Ibuki and she’s affectionate with everyone. Yes, she can invade boundaries sometimes but I would never imagine someone has hopeful as her would intend to take advantage of a friend she appreciates so much.” Nagito smiled again, trying to say something, anything, to make Mikan feel better.

The nurse simply nodded her head and mubbled, “I guess so…”

She knew that sooner or later Ibuki would probably change her mind and Mikan would allow her.

Nagito hated seeing his friend up set, and could already tell she was about to spiral so he changed the subject.

“Hey, so um I was thinking we could head to the library after school. Hajime’s older cousin, Makoto, is hosting a little study group for the kids in younger years, something about earning more credits. It’ll just be me, you, Hajime, Makoto, his best friend Kyoko and Ryota.” 

Mikan counted the amount of people in her head, six didn’t seem like a lot but at the same time it also intimidated her. She knew that Sagisha would be coming along with Ryota so it turned out to be seven in the end.

“You don’t have to come of course, but Makoto and Kyoko are really nice and laid-back so you don’t have to worry.” Nagito gave a reassuring smile, Mikan’s leg was bouncing a bit and she was twirling a piece of her hair.

“Um…I am struggling a bit in math, I-I guess I can come.” She nodded her head, her tone sounded a bit reluctant but she new its best to try new things.

“And we’ll leave at any time if you have to.” Nagito stood up and placed his book into his bag, “Lets head off to class alright?” Mikan stood up, she had a large black hoodie of her school uniform and pink cat socks (a gift from Seiko on her last birthday).

The two walked through the sunny halls until they parted ways to their next class. 

Before she new it, Mikan was waiting by the front entrance to walk with Nagito to the library. She was soon greeted by the white haired boy and they walked towards the other end of the school. They made light conversation, telling each other about their day.

They always made is a tradition to tell each other one thing that they liked about their day, it always gave the reason find the positive in dark times.

The duo arrived at the library and were met with the freckled face of Hinata. Komaeda quickly let go of Mikan’s hand, which he hand been holding.

He walked over to Hinata and rapped his arms around the tan boy and gave him a kiss. It made Mikan so happy seeing Komaeda happy, to be honest she couldn’t help but feel a tinge jealous.

“I like your hair.” Hinata tugged and Komaeda’s pony, making Nagito blush a bit. “Oh, hello Tsumuki-chan.” Hinata looked over Komaeda’s shoulder and gave Mikan a small wave, in which she waved back not meeting his eyes.

Hinata chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, moving his free hand into Nagito’s. The three of them continued walking along to the library, finally arriving a minute later.

Makoto was shorter than all of them, his hair was rather wavy and a nice chesnut colour. He had a hoodie and blazar, an odd combination but Mikan didn’t mind.

Standing next to him was a rather tall girl with silky lavender hair. Mikan found her quite beautiful, she had a very cool and calculating face although it did intimidate the nurse a bit.

“Hey Makoto, this is Mikan, she’s going to be studying with us as well. That’s Kyoko.” Nagito pointed to the purple haired girl who nodded her head.

“Kyoko Kirigiri.”

“O-oh, I-Im M-Mikan T-tsumuki, y-you don’t need to r-r-remember i-it or a-anything!! I-I’m sorry!” Mikan was already a mess, a few tears dripping down her cheeks and she was holding her hands close to her chest. Nagito gave her a little nudge and small smile.

“O-oh, its alright don’t worry about it…why don’t we head in?” Makoto chuckled awkwardly and turned around. Kyoko looked a little concerned but just headed inside as well.

Nagito leaned over and whispered, “Ryota couldn’t make it so it will only be us five.”

The smaller amount of people helped calm Mikan a bit, but it also worried her a bit more. Nagito was the only one who could comfort her here, at least Ryota and Sagisha were very understanding and knew of her problems as well.

As they walked into the library, the familiar atmosphere made Mikan’s nerves immediately settle down. Nagito and Mikan would often come here to read up on their special interests and it held a place close to Mikan’s heart.

The five teens sat down at a table and Makoto immediately pulled out his books. Mikan followed along and opened up own her textbooks. 

As the night went on Mikan actually found herself enjoying the company of the Hajime, Kyoko and Makoto. Kirigiri-chan was quite intelligent and often had a few sarcastic remarks that made everyone giggle. Naegi was quite the goofball and rather awkward. Everyone was having a fairly good time until Hajime started hyperventilating.

It was out of no where honestly, Mikan quickly rushed by his side. She had been stuttering the entire night, but it was practically gone when she was able to get back into her element. She knelt down by Hajime and whispered, “Whats wrong? Are you having a panic attack? Is it your che-“

“Tsumiki-Chan.” Nagito quickly stepped in front of her, “It’s alright. I’m going to take Hajime back to his dorms he just needs a bit of space right now.” Nagito smiled and gripped Hajime’s hand. Mikan nodded her head and sniffled.

“O-Oh my g-gosh, I’m so s-sorry. B-bye, I-I please f-forgive me…” Hajime waved a hand at her saying it was fine but the movement clearly caused him even more pain,making him to reach for his side. Mikan stepped forward but Nagito put a hand out and reassuring smile.

“I’m so sorry to cut this meeting short, I am so thankful for you inviting someone like me to study with you!” Hajime sighed at Nagito’s words and soon the two boys were gone, leaving Mikan alone with the practically two strangers, friendly, but still strangers.

  


Nagito pushed the key to Hajime’s door and opened it up, “Hinata-kun, how long have you been wearing it?” Concern filled his grey eyes, and he had a frown resting upon his lips.

“Um, I don’t remember Ko, I’m gonna head to the bathroom though I’ll be right back okay?” Hajime was rather flustered and rushed to the bathroom, closing and locking the door.

Nagito sighed and leaned against the wall, sliding down it. He wanted to respect Hajime’s privacy, of course, but he always wanted to be there to help him and let him know that he really didn’t care. Of course they had done some stuff, but the second shirts were coming off Hajime quickly stopped him. Nagito was fine with that wanted to make sure Hinata was comfortable, all he wanted was for Hinata to be happy.

The fact he even told someone as disgusting as Komaeda was amazing and so filled hope, Nagito couldn’t even believe someone would trust someone like Nagito with that.

This had happened before, Hajime would wear his binder too long, start to panic and then Nagito would wait by the bathroom door until Hajime calmed down. He had never asked Nagito to enter the bathroom, not like Nagito would expect him to especially since it was Komaeda after all. Although today was clearly different.

A voice came from inside the bathroom, “Um,” Hinata cleared his throat, “Um Nagito, c-can you come in here please? B-but first can you grab a shirt for? It…it should be in my top drawer.

Click

The sound of a door unlocking ringed through Nagito’s ears. He quickly stood up and walked to Hajime’s room and grabbed a rather large green shirt. Hajime’s voice had been cracked and somewhat horse, Nagito hated hearing Hajime like that, in so much despair.

Slowly he opened the door, only to see a Hajime curled on the bathroom floor with his knees pulled to his chest, binder discarded next to him. Nagito crouched down beside him and placed the shirt next to him. 

The white haired boy turned around while Hajime put on the shirt and once he knew it was on he turned back around to get a better look at him. 

His freckled skin was red and blotchy, eyes glossy and tears staining his cheeks. He had a few scars lingering his forearms, scars that Nagito knew too well. A tear rolled down Nagito’s cheek, seeing his boyfriend like this.

Nagito opened his mouth to say something but Hajime quickly lept forward into his arms and started to sob violently, his trembling hands gripped onto Nagito’s shirt.

“Its not fair, its not fair, i-its not fair.” He muttered repeatedly holding onto his boyfriend as if his life depended on it.

Nagito rubbed Hajime’s back lightly and whispered reassuring things, it was painful seeing him like this but he couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for Hinata.

After a few minutes, Hajime finally stopped hyper ventilating and let go of Nagito, wiping his nose on his hand. “I-I’m so sorry Nagito I don’t know w-“

“Hajime, please don’t apologize. You get mad at me when I apologize for no reason, so please don’t. Its not your fault. Thank you for opening up to someone like me. Are you alright? Well of course you aren’t, but do you want to maybe just watch a movie? I can make us something to eat…” Nagito’s voice faded as he recognized his rambling.

Hajime chuckled a bit, despite his sad appearance his smile made him look so happy. “Thank you Nagito, seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He leaned his forehead against Nagito’s and sighed.

Nagito was quite touched by his words, _‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ _He’d definitely have to remember that.__

____

__The two boys eventually stood up off the tiles and walked into main room, Nagito quickly pulled out his phone and texted Mikan, apologizing for leaving so suddenly._ _

**nagito:** Hi Mikan, I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly. Hinata was having a few problems but he’s all good now :D I hope you made it home alright, see you at school tomorrow!!! <3

He then put his phone away, continuing to enjoy his night with Hinata.

  


When Nagito left is was rather abrupt, leaving Mikan alone with Naegi-kun and Kirigiri-chan.

Finally, Makoto spoke up to break the incredibly awkward silence. “So um, me and Kirigiri-chan are gonna head back to the dorms now! It was really nice meeting your Tsumuki-chan, bye!!!” Makoto waved and flashed a bright smile. Kyoko simply nodded her head and grabbed her bag.

Mikan watched as the two left, she didn’t know what was worse, being with two friendly strangers or completely alone? The latter seemed to be worse.

The sun was now setting, the sky was turning Indigo and only a faint line of gold outlines the trees.

She trembled through the silent halls, her heads were clasped together in front of her chest and her choppy locks were covering her eyes.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket when the sound of a buzz came, she almost always had her ringer on just in case.

She fumbled with a reply, typing with shaky hands.

 **mikan** : hi angito its perfectly alrghit im jst walkng home right niw

 **nagito :)** :tsumuki-chan? Are you alright?

 **mikan** : um its jsut rly quirt

It was also really hard to see through the hair covering her face, but the silence in the halls was creeping up to her. She usually didn’t mind the quiet, it actually comforted her and she usually felt rather safe in the quiet. But this time…she just had a feeling she wasn’t a lone.

The longer it took for a reply the longer Mikan’s hands were shaking and her pace started to quicken down the hall. The sudden buzz made Mikan incredibly startled and she quickly tripped over her boots and fell, she let a small shriek and she scrambled on the floor for her phone and bag.

Giggles.

Although they ended as soon as they started.

Mikan froze, swearing she heard something. It’s probably a creak, the buildings old, don’t worry, don’t worry, you’re almost there…  
She resumed searching and looked for her phone, not getting back up. The only thing she could move where her fingers which were partially moving involuntarily.  


"Oh okay, sorry that took a while to reply, should I call you? If you’re fine with someone like me comforting you of course…  


_‘Nagito, now is not the time…’_ She shook her head and didn’t even reply, instead she just hit call.  


He answered almost immediately.  


“Mikan? Do you need to me to come and get you?” Mikan let out a small whimper but quickly put a shaking hand to her mouth.  


“N-no it’s a-alright, I j-just…I just think I-I hear-rd s-someone…” Her voice was so quiet, she didn’t even know if Nagito could hear her.  


There was the sound of shuffling and quiet whispering that Mikan couldn’t pick out who it was. Her head was swimming, and the room seemed to be spinning but at the same time everything was eerily silently, too silent.  


How could something she fond so much comfort in, be so triggering?  


Oh right.  


The giggles.  


Mikan’s breathe hitched and she started to hyperventilate, remembering the soft giggle she heard. She started to spiral and flipped her head around the corridor. Her purple hair flying around her as her vision cleared.  


The hall was empty, it eased her anxiety a bit, but only a bit.  


It was darker now, the hallways were lit up with navy blue light and she couldn’t make out too far down the hall.  


“Mikan? Mikan I’m going to come and get you keep on talking to me, okay?”  


More rustling and whispers, a door closing as well.  


“O-Oh, a-alright.”  


“Mikan where are you? I’m coming there right now.”  


“I-I’m in the c-coridor, b-by the l-library?” She said as if it was question, worried she might get the wrong answer on this simple question.  


“Okay can you describe what you’re wearing today?” A distracting question, just like I ask him when he is having a panic attack.  


“U-Um, a b-black h-hoodie and b…boots.” She looked down at her clothes, which had tears soaked into them.  


“Okay, are you wearing any socks?” Nagito’s voice had a slight pant to it, as if he was running. It sounded like there multiple foot steps but Mikan knew her thinking wasn’t clear and he was probably just around other people.  


Mikan still hadn’t moved from her spot on the floor, shaking too much to support herself.  


“Y-yeah, the c-cat ones…”  


Another giggle.  


Mikan let out a small cry,  


“N-nagito s-s-someones h-h-here, s-someones here, someones here, someones here, Nagito I-“ Her words slurred together and she was speaking fast.  


“Tsumuki-chan. I’m almost there, you must be hearing me. No one else is there, you are safe I promise. No one is going to hurt you, okay? Don’t worry it’ll be alright.” Mikan just shook her head, her crying getting worse.  


“N-n-no, y-you’re…y-youre w-w-wrong. P-plus I’d be fine if someone hurt me, its not like I don’t deserv-  


“Mikan. I’m here, I see you.” He quickly cut off her rant and the nurse looked up from her lap, seeing the white haired boy and someone following close behind him.  


Nagito quickly knelt by her, “Mikan can I hug you?” Mikan thought about it and shook her head, she needed a little bit of space right now. Nagito nodded his head and put his hands down.  


She looked up and noticed Hinata who had his phone flashlight on.  


“O-Oh m-m-my gosh I-I’m s-s-sorry I ruined y-your night w-with m-my p-problems!! I’m sorryyy!” She gripped her hair and cried even more.  


“Mikan its alr-“ Nagito started but was cut off by the freckled boy,  


“Tsumiki-chan its all good. I don’t mind.” He simply shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal at all. Mikan nodded her head, not wanting to cause any more problems and finally placed her palm firmly on the floor and pushed her self up. Although her knees almost gave out and Nagito quickly caught her.  


“Mikan I’m going to help you walk is that alright?” She nodded her head and put almost all the weight of her shaking body on Nagito.  
She assumed Hajime will follow right behind them although he turned around and started walking the opposite direction.  


“Hinata-kun?” Nagito briefly looked past his shoulders and Hajime must’ve done something to signal Nagito because Nagito just nodded his head and looked back down at his sobbing friend.  


Her panic had gone down a bit now that Nagito was here although she was still hyperventilating a bit.  


Suddenly, as if the day needed any more worry, two voices started to argue. Nagito and Mikan both spun around to see what was happening.  


There stood Hajime shouting at some other boy, who Nagito must’ve assumed was another reserve course classmate.  


“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Hajime shouted at him, running his hands through his spiky brown hair.  


“C’mon man…why are you getting involved? I was just walking down the halls!!” A sneer formed on the green haired boy as he folded his arms across his chest.  


Mikan curled into Nagito’s shoulder and started to shake, recognizing the voice. Nagito looked down the hall and hesitated, trying to figure out what to do next.  


He turned back around quickly walking out of the building, leaving Hajime.  


“W-what a-about Hin-“  


“Hinata-kun is fine. I’m going to take you closer to the dorm building and then come and get him.” Nagito looked stern, but also guilty and Mikan only assumed it was her fault.  


“I- sorry, g-go b-back. I-I c-can walk f-from here…p-promise. I’m so so-orry.” Tears started to fall down her rosy cheeks and she pushed away from Nagito.  


“Mikan, please let me take you back. I promise Hajime is going to be alright.” Nagito tried to give a reassuring smile although it didn’t quite work as Mikan was already a few steps ahead but she turned around. Her face looking somewhat…cold.  


“Nagito. I-I need you to t-trust me now. G-go back and g-get Hinata-kun. That…that guy isn’t s-s-safe so p-p-please just hurry and g-gget Hinata.” Mikan spoke as clearly as she could, it was obvious she was fighting painful memories but Nagito was proud of her for finishing the sentence.  


The white haired boy sighed, “Alright but call me the second you get to your dorm or you see or hear someone. I’m so sorry someone like me couldn’t help you, I don’t even know why you would call m-“ Nagito stopped himself, realizing his own self-deprecation wasn’t helping.  


He gave his friend a quick wave and walked up to her. He leaned down a bit and paused, waiting for Mikan to nod her head. When she did he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and walked away.  


Mikan smiled, feeling the tiniest bit better knowing she had a friend by her side who actually cared, actually thought about her, actually liked for who she is not what she has. 

When Nagito walked back to Hajime he was ridden with guilt, guilt of leaving Mikan behind especially. He knew she said that she was alright but he felt like he’d made the wrong choice. Although he struck with another wave of guilt when he saw Hajime in a fight with this random guy.  


“You’re fucking disgusting you know that right?” Hajime quickly threw a punch at the other guy, although he dogDed it and kneed Hajjime in the stomach.  


“Hajime!” Nagito came running close and ripped the two apart. The green haired boy looked at the two of them up and down and glared.  


“Oh look, your boyfriends come to save the day! Fucking f4gs…” He chuckled and Hajime clenched his fist but Nagito grabbed his hand.  


“Lets go.” He whispered to Hajime and turned around starting to walk down the hall.  


The boy chuckled and scratches his cheek before turning around.  


Once they were out of the building and walking over to Nagito’s dorm room. “What happened?” Nagito turned to look at Hajime.  


“Its just some asshole from class. He was spying on your friend or whatever and I just took the chance to finally go off on him about all the shitty things he’s done.” Hajime scratches his hand, he clearly didn’t regret anything.  


“I appreciate you looking out for Tsumuki-chan but you really didn’t have to get involved…”  


“Nagito.” Hajime turned to look at his boyfriend, “He didn’t even hurt me that much. I’ve been meaning to have a chat with him its fine lets just go back to your dorm I’m tired as fuck.” Hajime let out a small chuckle and walked forward.  


“B-but…you got hurt cause of me. Its my fault cause I’m friends with Tsumiki-san…” Nagito let go of Hajimes hand and rapped his arms around himself, giving himself a hug.  


“Ko, its not your fault. It was my choice. So please, lets just drop it.” Nagito sighed and put his hands into his pocket, wanting to say more but just to deciding to let it slide.  


He and Hajime walked back to the dorm and the second he walked in he pulled his phone out and texted Mikan.

When Nagito left Mikan in the hallway she actually did better than she thought. All the lights in that corridors were on so it made her feel more safe. She also wasn’t that far from her dorm which nice, so it wasn’t that long of a walk.  


She did hope Hinata-kun was alright though, she knew who the boy was and how aggressive he could be. She couldn’t help but feel guilty if he were to get hurt.  


When Mikan walked in she made herself a cup of tea and changed into something more comfortable. It was a lavender, fluffy sweater and some pale blue sweatpants.  


She tucked her knees to her chest and changed the lights in her room to a soft pink colour, hoping it would calm her down some more.  


She was still shaking from the lingering panic, but she was feeling much safer in her dorm.  


She pulled out her phone and checked her messages, one from Nagito and one from…Ibuki?  


She opened the one from Nagito first,  


**nagito :)** : Hi Mikan, just wanted to make sure you got home safety. Also I know you’re already thinking this, but Hinata-kun is safe and wasn’t harmed. I’m so sorry for leaving you, it was stupid but expected of trash like me. I hope you can forgive me though! Sweet dreams <3  
Mikan shook her head slightly and clicked her song before typing out a reply.  


**mikan** : oh….thank you nagito i was kind of worried for hinata-kun but im glad he is alright. also I made it home safety and it wasn’t your fault. youre also not trash, now go spend time with your boyfriend! sry for ruining your night again…

 **nagito :)** : ack mikan!!! Don’t worry you didn’t ruin it at all :))) have a good night I’ll text you you in the morning :D  


Mikan closed the messages and went to look at the one from Ibuki. She wasn’t very close with many people, only Ryota, Sagisha, Nagito and Seiko. She was acquaintances with some girls in her class but never really hung out with them outside of school. Ibuki would sometimes invite her to parties and text her funny gifs but besides that they weren’t that close. So a sudden text was a little shocking but Mikan just figured it was some dancing cat meme. 

**ibuki:** Heyoooooooo!1!1 Sooo I r3nted this n3w m0vi3 and I w4s w0ndering if you w4nted to w4tch 1t w!th me!! 

‘What an odd way to type…’ Mikan didn’t find it hard to read but it was rather weird seeing number and letters mixed together.  


**mikan** : oh…um, sry for the late reply i was just at the library…that would make me very happy! feel free to come over when you’d like…that is if you still want to!! u don’t have to do it anymore…i know this is kind of a late reply  


Within seconds there was a knock at her door, Ibuki hadn’t replied so Mikan was a little hesitant but when she opened the wooden door she was happily greeted with Ibuki’s shining face.  


Ibuki quickly rapped Mikan in a hug and then stood up. “Hi hi!!! Okay so turns out I rented the wrong movie, hehe…its actually like some action and adventure and thers lots of bleh! Blach! Blooh!” Ibuki pretended to stab herself and made a whole bunch of weird sound affects which made Mikan giggle a bit.  


“Soooo Ibuki doesn’t really wanna watch it but instead I was thinkin’ we could just talk or somethin’!!! Ibuki brought over snacks and Kaede is sleeping at her girlfriends tonight so I was super duper bored all alone.” Ibuki made a pouty face and folded her arms.  


In her hand was a large cloth bag which seemed to all kind of junk food in it, none of it could be healthy for you so Mikan started to worry a bit for Ibuki’s health but didn’t want to kill the mood with medical talk.  


Ibuki walked over to Mikan’s bed and laid stomach down and started to move her legs back and forth. Mikan sat awkwardly on the end of the bed and chuckled slightly, fiddling with her hands.  


“Welp uhhmmmm…” Ibuki pasued, finally realizing the girls weren’t even that close despite being in the same class for a year already. “OOOo okay! Whats your favourite animal??!!” Ibuki sat up and changed her sitting position to criss-cross legged, which allowed Mikan for more room.  


“O-oh, um…I-I’d have to say m-maybe bunnies?” Mikan answered the question, remembering the time she found an injured one when she was 10 and brought it to the school nurse. The fur was so soft and white and the eyes were like little black gems.  


“Oh cool!! Ibuki’s has to be dragons, I mean who cares if they aren’t real they look cool as fuck.” Ibuki chuckled and grabbed a bag of popcorn out of her bag, opening it and throwing one into her mouth, which missed and ended up on the floor. She leaned over and picked it up, trying again but it only landed in her lap this time. She groaned and rolled her eyes, just eating it normally.  


Mikan giggled as she watched Ibuki struggle to get the popcorn into her mouth. It was weird laughing with someone other than Komaeda, but it also felt natural.  


“Alrightyyy missie, so ummm how about we ask each other some more questions!! Ibuki would love to know more about her darling friend.” The grin on Ibuki’s face spread and Mikan felt a smile creep onto her cheeks.  


“Okay…u-um…what’s your favourite c-colour?” Mikan tilted her and fiddled with her hoodie.  
Ibuki put a hand to her chin, “I’d say rainbow!! Ibuki can’t pick just one colour.” Mikan nodded her head and reached for a twizzler, starting to peal it apart.  


“What is your favourite thing to do with friends?” Ibuki asked as she chewed on a ketchup chip, the musician leaned back on her hands.  


“U-Uhm..” Mikan didn’t have many friends, so there weren’t many things she could pick from…and the times she did hang out with her friends they never did anything too exerting.  


”I- well, maybe reading in the library…” Mikan kept her hands down in her lap.  


Ibuki let out a loud groan, “Ughhhhh that sounds SO booooringggg. Ibuki needs to take you to a concert one night or something.” Ibuki rolled onto her stomach and propped a hand under her chin.  


“O-Oh, um…that sounds..n-nice…” Mikan giggled awkwardly and then finished eating her twisler. 

The two girls continued to ask each other questions until is reached around 12 am. Ibuki leaped up from her bed and grabbed all her snacks.  
“Ibuki thought that was reallyyyy fun!! Ibuki needs to head home now and do some work, I’ll catch ya later Mikan!!” And before she knew it Ibuki was gone in a flash, leaving Mikan sitting there all alone again.  


The girl let out a sigh, already missing the musicians presence.  


Mikan did her night routine and tucked herself into bed, staring out at the night sky.  


She made a wish on the first star she saw, like she usually did at night. Tonight she wished that Ibuki would be a nice friend, someone who really did care about her. She knew it wasn’t in her control but she held onto that tiny bit of hope she had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alrightyyy sorry the ending was a bit rushed! the next chapter is going to be very fluffy cause there has been a lot of sadness already kashdakhadjsah 
> 
> please comment if you like it love you guys, take care <33


	3. Cafeteria - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikan has quite an eventful, but happy, day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I said I would make this a really fluffy chapter but it just kinda happened and I included a bit of angst akdhjsahkda, its only at the beginning tho and the majority of the chapter is fluff!!
> 
> warning for this chapter:  
> \- panic/anxiety attacks  
> \- small mentions of abuse/trauma  
> \- small mention of depression and anxiety
> 
> but yeah sorry if this chapter isn't very good, I hope you all like it though! let me know if I missed anything in the warnings!

“HE’S GAY. I TOLD YALL, NOW GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY.” A loud voice came shouting from across the lunch hall. The one time of day when students throughout all four years were allowed to eat in the same room. 

Of course, Mikan never sat in the lunchroom, the loud noises, the people, it would always send her into a panic attack. 

The purplette walked down the hall, her head was down and her black hoodie hung to just above her knees. She had large chunky black boots and a baby blue pleated skirt. She used some balck harnesses (which had a silver heart on them) to keep her white stockings up.

She was glad she met Shagisa, they helped her be more confident in her looks. Coming from him, someone who’s identity isn’t quite defined, made her feel so much confident. Despite still having low self-esteem, she able to express herself through her style now.

“PAY UP BITCHES.” Another loud laugh came from the cafeteria and Mikan couldn’t help but turn his head to look at what was going on. 

A girl with strawberry blonde hair was standing atop one of the tables, surrounded by a very crowded table. Everyone seemed to be rolling their eyes and groaning, reaching into their pockets to pull out any bills they had. 

Mikan noticed a boy with blue hair, he looked rather nervous and shy, a lot like how Mikan acted. She couldn’t help but sympathize with him, knowing he was probably really uncomfortable in whatever situation just happened. The nurse noticed him trying to say something but he was talked over by all the voices around him. Suddenly the kids started to chat about something but Mikan couldn’t pick up on it by all the chattering in the cafeteria. 

It was getting too loud for MIkan so she tried to get out of the situation when someone bumped into her. 

The blue-haired boy. 

“O-oh my gosh, s-so sorry…” He quickly muttered and pulled his hat down to cover his face, Mikan quickly saw a tear roll down his cheek and her nurse instinct kicked in.

“Wait.” Mikan reached out to the boy, who was already walking away, “A-are you having a p-panic attack? H-her,e I can help you.” Mikan spoke through her purple locks, which covered the majority of her face. “T-that is if you w-want m-my help from s-someone like m-me! I-I’m so-sorry!” Mikan shrieked a bit and clasped her hands, remembering the times she's tried to help people but it only made them more upset.

The boy looked up at Mikan and she could finally see his eyes, which were glossy and scared. “I-I, n-no it's fi-'' He tried to speak but he was cut off by a loud gasp and he stumbled back a bit. < /p>

Mikan lunged forward to catch him, “C-can I t-touch you? S-sorry!!!” She immediately moved her hand off of his arm but the blue haired boy nodded his head and Mikan returned it to help stabilize him. 

I'm going to take you to a s-spot where you c-can calm down, okay?” The blue haired boy nodded again, he was hyperventilating and Mikan wondered what could’ve caused this response. Maybe he had social anxiety just like Mikan? 

The pair sood arrived outside. It wasn’t the normal courtyard, which was usually packed, but instead a small garden which had a tree and stone bench. It was rather secluded and most people didn’t even know the spot existed. 

Mikan sat on the bench and folded her hands in her lap, she watched the blue haired boy paced around. 

“Okay, I-I need you to match your breathing with me. I-In for four, hold for hour, o-out for hour, hold for f-four. If it helps walk in a square.” Mikan kept her voice steady, trying her best to seem confident and to prove she knew what she was doing.

The boy with the hat nodded his head and started to walk in a square, listening to Mikan’s breathing and within 10 minutes the boy had calmed down and he was now sitting beside the nurse.

“T-thank you so much...I-just...needed to calm down a bit. Are you the ultimate therapist o-or something?” The boy was clearly still shaken up a bit, but he was much more stable now. 

“O-oh! Um...I-I’m a-actually the ultimate n-nurse-a-and it was no problem at all! T-thank you so much f-for l-leting me help y-you! If y-you want t-to talk a-about it w-we can as well…Im M-mikan T-tsumiki.” 

Shuichi nodded his head, listening to what she had to say. He noticed that she was a bit more nervous now and hoped that it wasn’t his fault. “I’m Shuicha Saihara, ultimate detective...and yeah, I kind of want to talk about it.”

Shuichi almost never talked about his feelings, everything stayed in. People knew he was anxious and depressed, but he never vented to anyone. He would occasionally send a random text to Kaede at 4 am, but never a long vent. And keeping everything in was killing him. 

Mikan nodded her hand, tucking a magenta lock behind her ear. She adjusted a bit on the bench, letting him know that she was here to listen. 

Shuichi took a deep breath before letting it all out. “You probably heard what was happening in the cafeteria because they were being so loud...about me being, um. I’m sure you heard it.” 

Mikan nodded her head. She remember what happened in the cafeteria, about someone being gay. They must’ve been talking about him, she would’ve hated to be in his spot, outed like that. 

“I just wasn’t ready...I wanted to be the one to do it, not Iruma. It's my identity, I should be the one to tell everyone, not her. Plus, I’m not even gay I’m bi but before I could say that she had to just blurt it out just because I got a boyfriend. Why am I even telling you this, for all I know you might just go around tel-” 

“Saihara-kun, d-don’t worry. I-I-w-would- n-never tell anyone something a-as c-confidential as t-this.” Mikan gave a weak, but reassuring smile. Saihara nodded his head and continued. 

“It's just that, she’s so...damn loud! And Kokichi is already so much for me to handle it’s hard keeping up with his best friend. They could at least be quiet and think about my feelings…” Saihara lowered his cap below his eyes and Mikan hovered a hand over his shoulder, waiting for a reply. The blue haired boy nodded his head and he placed it on his shoulder. 

“I k-know it's not my p-place to say but I think you s-should have a d-discussion with y-your b-boyfriend, a s-serious one.” The purple haired girl lowered her head a bit, feeling like she was invading his privacy too much. 

She didn’t get the reply she expected, Saihra laughed. He _laughed _. “He isn’t serious about anything, I’ve tried…”__

“Oh. I-I’m s-s-sorry for suggesting it…” Mikan played with the drawstring of her hoodie, feeling quite guilty about it even though she knew if Nagito was here he’d say it wasn’t her fault. 

Saihara brought his hands out and shook them, “Please don’t feel sorry! You’ve helped me more than you would have imagined.” 

Mikan nodded her head one again and looked up at him to ask a question although was soon interrupted by two girls. 

“There you are Shuichi! Are you alri- oh. Hi I’m Kaede! What happened?” A girl with blonde hair walked up to the two of the girls and a girl with long, brown hair trailed behind her. She knelt down by the detective and her energetic smile turned into a more serious face. “I’m so sorry about Miu, she shouldn’t have don-” 

“It’s fine Kaede, Tsumiki-chan here helped calm me down.” Shuichi turned and gave the nurse a smile but she didn’t look up from the hair covering her face. She was trembling ever so slightly. 

“Oh that’s amazing! Thank you so much for helping him out!” The girls looked at Mikan and smiled although Mikan probably couldn’t see her enthusiastic grin. Kaede decided not to push Mikan into speaking so instead she stood up from her knees.

Mikan noticed that the girl with the long brown hair hadn’t said anything. Maybe she too was nervous like Mikan? But the purplette couldn’t help but get a cold feeling when she lifted her eyes for a second to look at the girls face. 

“Well, we should be off to class! It was a pleasure meeting you Tsumiki-chan!” Wow, she had a lot of energy. Sort of like Ibuki, but this was more optimistic energy rather than chaotic. 

The two girls walked out and before Shuichi left he turned and said, “Thank you Tsumiki-chan, really, I appreciate it. See you around.” 

Mikan’s eyes widened, “O-oh! I-it was nothing, u-um b-bye! T-tell your f-friends I-I’m sorry for not talking t-to t-them it j-just-” 

“I understand, don’t worry.” The blue haired boy gave a smile and walked to his friends. Mikan let out a breath which she felt like she had been holding in. Would it be too much to see she had made a new friend? Yes it was, he was probably just a nice person, barely anyone wanted to be Mikan’s friend. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she figured it would be good if she too went to class herself. 

As she walked through the halls she felt guilt for not introducing herself to Saihara-kun’s friend but she also felt happy. She was able to help someone and make them feel better! That was a win, she would need to tell Nagito after classes. 

  


“Mikaaaaaaaaan” The nurse was quickly wrapped in a hug from behind and blush quickly rose to her cheeks.

”H-hi Mioda-chan! I-is something the matter?” Mikan’s couldn’t help but melt into the touch. She’s been so used to rough and harmful touch that all she wanted was soft and loving touches from those who cared about her. 

Ibuki still didn’t let go, and instead swayed a bit. “Nothin’ muuuuch, Ibuki just wanted to ask her favourite nurse if she wanted to come to a sleepover!! You don’t have to though, t’ll be Ibuki and some members from the music club and their girlfriends!” Ibuki spoke with such enthusiasm but Mikan froze a bit. 

Ibuki let go of Mikan and the nurse was already missing the warmth behind her. The musician scratched behind her head, “I don’t wanna pressure you or anything, but don’t worry it won't be as loud as other parties of mine!!!” The guilt that was resting on Ibuki’s face soon turned to a cheerful smile. “Like Ibuki said it’ll be Ibuki, the girls from the band and their girlfriends. Sooooo, Ibuki, Kaede, Sayaka, Maki and Mukuro!~” The colourful haired girl sang out the name and Mikan giggled a tiny bit. 

Mikan knew who Mukuro and Sayaka were because she once had to treat Sayaka’s bruised face and bloodied fist because she apparently got into a fight with someone after they dissed Mukuro. Mikan was super scared if she said the wrong thing both girls would be after her so she stayed quiet the whole time she was treating Sayaka. 

To be honest, Mikan really did want to go. She thinks it would be a good way for her to meet new people and make more memories. Of course, her social anxiety still took over her thoughts but she just imaged that if Nagito was here, what would he say? He would tell her to go for it because its such a hope filled opportunity. 

With a deep breathe, Mikan finally opened her mouth, “I’d love to Mioda-chan, j-just text me the d-details p-please.” The nurse smiled cheerfully, two good things about the day now! She did a little happy dance in her head, excited to tell Nagito the two highlights from her day. 

  


”Komaeda-kun!”

Mikan quickly ran up with her white haired friend, a bright smile spread across her face. “You’ll never believe what h-happened today!!”

Nagito was so, utterly happy that Mikan was happy. He could see that something exciting must’ve happened just by the way she was bouncing on her heels and smiling. After seeing her in such despair is was so exciting for him. “What happened?” Nagito asked, he too was unable to stop a grin from forming on his face. 

“Well in the m-morning I helped a boy from a panic attack and he said he really appreciate it and then Ibuki a-asked if I could c-come to a sleepover!!” Mikan was talking so fast, much faster than she usually did. 

Mikan was quickly rapped in a hug from Nagito and he spun her around a bit, “Oh my gosh Tsumuki-chan!! Thank you for sharing that with someone like me, I’m so happy for you!! You radiate with even more hope now.” Nagito slowly started to spiral a bit on the topic of hope although Mikan didn’t usually mind (unless it was his self-deprication). 

Mikan rolled her eyes playfully and Nagito grinned wider in response, _’Woah, she’s never rolled her eyes before, I’m glad she’s finally starting to be more comfortable in regards to making jokes.’ _Nagito was rather surprised but also happy for his nurse friend.__

”Komaeda-kun, of c-course I would tell you, you’re my b-best friend after a-all!” Nagito’s eyes lit up and he gently took hold of Mikan’s hand. 

”Oh wow! It truly is an honor, thank you Mikan!” Nagito smiled and looked into Mikan’s eyes before moving his hands from her hers so that he could hold just one her palms. so they were holding hands. 

  


As the pair started walking back towards the dorm he golden beams lit up Mikan’s magenta hair and Nagito’s grey-green eyes. It was peaceful. Happy. Calm. 

Mikan pushed open her door and turned on the lights. She walked over to the curtains and opened them, letting the yellow sunlight flow in. She sat down on her bed and and folded her hands in her lap, 

“Alrighty Mikan, why don’t we pack for the sleepover? I can help! If you want to accept my help of course.” Nagito paced around her room and fiddled with his hands a bit. 

“O-oh right, I-I forgot about that. S-sure! I-I’m going to m-make a snack.” Mikan stood up and walked over to her mini kitchen, grabbing lemonade out of the fridge as well as a peach and some cheese and crackers. She put her hand on the silver nob of the drawer and pulled out a small knife, starting to cut up the peach. 

She could hear that Nagito was rummaging through some of her things and had no idea what he was doing but knew whatever it was, it was good. 

Mikan arranged the cheese, crackers and peach slices on a plate as well as two glasses of cold lemonade. She knew that with Nagito’s illness he needed to keep his energy and health up so she always tried to prepare something healthy when he came over. 

When Komaeda exited the room he had a backpack in his hand, which Mikan assumed to be filled with things needed for the future day. 

“Okay I packed you some clothes, a hygiene kit and a first aid kit just in case! As well as a phone charger.” Mikan peaked inside the bag and loved the clothes Komaeda picked out. 

“Thank you so much f-for helping me out!!” The nurse smiled and placed the backpack by the back door. 

Mikan finished plateing the cheese and crackers on the plate, brining it out for them to share. 

It was moments like these that Mikan loved the most. Being with her friend, where they are doing something they enjoy together and just...being kids. Actual kids who are happy. The two of them have been through so much that they both deserve happiness and when they had it, Mikan couldn’t help but feel overjoyed. 

As the day went on, the two shared lots of laughs and were even able to watch and episode or two of anime. Soon the night was coming to end, and the two of them were getting ready to sleep. 

“Pst Mikan, wanna go over tomorrow?” Nagito asked, their face turning just a tiny bit serious. 

“O-oh, um sure?” Mikan answered in a question way, which was rather normal of the purplette. 

“Alright, if you are ever feeling anxious or panicky call me and I will be there in two minutes. If I don’t pick up for whatever reason, call Sagisha or Hajime. Hinata-kun usually knows how to contact me. I can give you his number. Text me if you are ever feeling uncomfortable and if you want say a lie into the phone like, “I forgot I promised Nagito something” or just whatever and I will understand. Just- make sure you’re safe Mikan, okay?” 

Nagito looked sincere and it felt great to know that they was always there for Mikan. She nodded her head and looked as Nagito took her phone and punched in Hajime’s number. 

“I promise Nagito.” Mikan kept her voice study as she replied and had a genuine smile on her face. 

Mikan looked over to her door where her backpack was packed with everything she would need for tomorrow. _Gosh where would I be without him. _Mikan thought to herself as she looked Nagito.__

____

____

The nurse stood up and picked up the plate which was now mostly empty and walked over to the kitchen. She heard some rustlign and turned around to see Nagito settling down on the couch. 

“Oh, don’t you w-want to head b-back to your dorm?” Mikan didn’t want to be a bother to her friend, and her dorm wasn’t exactly the cleanest today. 

“Of course! If thats alright with you.” Nagito smiled and pulled a blanket over their lap. He took their hair out of the ponytail and placed the hair tie around his wrist. “You have a big day tomorrow, I’m going to head to sleep. 

Mikan chuckled to herself, she knew that Nagito would be up for a few more hours but it was nice he cared. 

She soon closed the lights and turned on her night light. She soon tucked herself into her bed and stared at Nagito, “Night Nagito, s-sweet dreams.” Mikan smiled even if it wasn’t visible in the dark. Wow she had smiled a lot today, much more than she had in the past few weeks. Despite the slight pain in her cheeks, she had a warm feeling in her chest as she drifted into a nightmare-less sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THE SLEEPOVER AAAAAAA also i promise this time it will be all fluff and lots more bandaid!! (also ikuzono and nursery rhymes, I couldn't resist) Comment if you enjoyed this chapter (if you want of course) i love seeing all the comments :))
> 
> remember to drink water, get something to eat and get some rest <333 I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it!! I will try to keep on a one week updating schedule as I plan on this being a very, very long fic. Please comment letting me know what you liked!! I'd really appreciate it! Stay safe, love you! <33
> 
> Also!! Sorry this chapter is a little short, I kinda rushed the ending but the chapters will be getting longer :))


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